I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
this is an emotional support booty call
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
