normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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