Do vagina's smell?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
