Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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