I think I just saw someone hide a body.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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