Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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