I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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