I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza