We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
