Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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