There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
