i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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