false alarm. still invincible.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
