just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
