He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize