that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
