You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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