I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
