i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
