Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
