forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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