i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
