I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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