I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
