I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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