census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
