dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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