**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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