he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
barbara walters just said penis...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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