there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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