we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
