But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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