some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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