I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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