Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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