you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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