Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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