I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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