drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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