Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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