he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
