Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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