I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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