the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
