Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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