I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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