ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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