It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
