I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
