We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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