dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
