lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How's work?
Spinning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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