i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
should my penis look like a turkey
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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