her vagine was all disorganized.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
