We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
