he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
