Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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