we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
