i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
