There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sex in a hospital.. check
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
