it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize