The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
