I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
