You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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