I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
