i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
