I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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