WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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