I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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