so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
