U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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