I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize