you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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